Hey Naomi. I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow. yesterday we had health class for the first time and after, the boys from my class started saying some mean things.
Oh no! Boys can be pretty stupid, especially when it comes to growing up. What happened?
some of them were trying to slap our butts but I wouldn’t let them one of them called me prude and said I’d never get a boyfriend.
Well let me tell you, those boys will never get girlfriends if they treat girls like that. What those boys did yesterday is a kind of bullying called sexual harassment, and if their mamas saw them doing that, they would be smacked upside the head.
Don’t you go smacking them though. Tell an adult and let them handle it.
The boys said they were slapping girl’s butts because of they way we were dressing. Like it was our fault.
Harassers are often really good at blaming victims. If it ever happens again don’t let them blame you, and don’t let them manipulate you into blaming yourself. There is no such thing as “asking for it.”
Yeah, that didn’t seem right when they were trying to blame me. It still made me feel bad though.
Don’t let it get to you. Boys are going through a lot of changes just like you. Boys often feel like they have to act tough in front of other boys, and sometimes they end up doing stupid things. Just tell an adult if you anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable.
A few weeks ago a boy in my class asked my friend if she was PMSing when she got angry at him. Is that harassment?
Yes, if he said it in a mean way. Sexual harassment is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, sexual jokes, comments, or rumors on or offline. Showing someone an inappropriate image is harassment, as well as pulling someone’s clothing or touching someone without their permission. It’s called “inappropriate” for a reason. If a boy ever asks her that again she could responded, “No, but it seems like you are.”
lol yea. What if they said they were just flirting?
Flirting is entirely different. You’re not flirting with someone if you’re making them uncomfortable. You will never get a date that way.
My friend said a boy she likes asked her to sext him, but she didn’t want to. Is he flirting?
If she is uncomfortable with something, that’s the end of the conversation. If he tried to pressure her into doing something she didn’t’ want to, it becomes harassment.
If that happens again she should let him know that she does like him but isn’t ready for that yet. If a boy really likes you for you he will get the picture.
okay. Thank you Naomi. Can I ask you more questions later?
Of course you can! Below are more conversations about intimacy and harassment and don’t forget to let an adult know anytime anyone treats you in an unwelcome sexual way.
ok, thank you!